


i feel the reason as it's leaving me

by blastellanos



Category: Baseball RPF
Genre: M/M, Tumblr Prompt
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-20
Updated: 2017-12-20
Packaged: 2019-02-17 08:45:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 716
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13073319
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/blastellanos/pseuds/blastellanos
Summary: 4. Desperate kiss





	i feel the reason as it's leaving me

He’d know it was going to happen. He’d known it since May, probably, that with the way the season was going, people were going to have to be moved. And José had almost won the Gold Glove last year– he was still hard to strikeout– just that perfect person in the bottom of the order to extend an inning. 

One could count on him up the middle, to make some impossible, lights out defensive play that left the crowd and the team and their opponent on their asses in amazement and _did he get that_? amidst near breathless laughter.

But as their record crept more and more below .500, James realizes that José’s too good for the team. He’s paid to recognize thing– pitching trends, the way runners act on the base– so he recognizes that some of the talent just isn’t going to remain, as the seams of the team become unraveled in the wake of Mr. I’s death; in the wake of too many injuries and not enough fight and run support and Miggy and Victor being cold and everyone being cold. 

He gets the notification from Bleacher Report, before an official statement– before anything. 

But he’d known; James has known since May, of course. Now, in the heat of July– under a hot sun and a losing streak– he knows. 

James wishes that he doesn’t. 

But he sees Al and Brad and handshakes and the notification and then José is heading for his locker and quietly packing his things, joking around with Víctor and a fake sort of smile pasted on his face. 

James knows he shouldn’t, but he follows José outside, waiting in the doorway for his cabdriver. 

To the airport, on to wherever he’s going. He remembers the alert– LA– and pushes it aside. 

“You’re gonna hate it there,” James says, wishing he sounds more convincing, wishing that José had a choice anyways. He dwarfs him in the doorway, and he also wishes that José’s eyes didn’t look so wet and he wishes so many things. 

He wishes he could unstick the words from the roof of his mouth and where they were choking him out, down in his throat and into his lungs. As José humors him with a dry, forced laugh– nothing like the – it was stupid, James was stupid. He hates this. 

The cab’s going to be here soon and James wants to unlatch his chest and let his heart fall out and say something. He wishes he could have done something to change this; to make it not– not be like this. But here it is. His hands slip around José’s slim wrist. He tugs him in.

“Wha-?” José must have been lost in his own thoughts; he looks up at James with wide eyes– confused and frowning, lashes lowered and glittering a bit with unshed tears. 

James has a million things he can say; a million pleas on the tip of his tongue and he wants to spill them all out over José’s feet and make him see even though he knows there’s nothing to be done about it. 

He sees the bright yellow pulling up closer, black lettering, and James can’t keep thinking. He can’t keep thinking and not doing because he needs José to know before he goes.

James loses his words and it’s all action. His hand slips up– one on José’s forearm and the other to the back of his neck, dipping down himself and pulling José in, until James presses his mouth to José’s and bites a little and kisses him– hard and deep and tries to put every stupid feeling he feels in to it. 

The cab pulls up a little near, when James breaks away, red-faced and breath harsh, and José’s standing there slack jawed, fingers clutching at the front of James’s shirt– _when had that happened_? – and his lips are swollen– red slashes of color on his golden cheeks and then his dark eyes lower and dart away.

“José,” James says, his voice thick, and the words just won’t come out. José gives him a small and sad smile, but then ducks away. He gets into the cab and closes the door and drives away; leaving James standing there, alone and unable to breathe with his chest tight.


End file.
